A life focused entirely
on going somewhere only to get nowhere is a hard one. It’s a difficult thing to
pour yourself into your work… into your passion, and to be rejected without
knowing how or why you were rejected. To reach-out into darkness and to find
nothing. A silent “No” is the worst rejection there is; especially when
everything originally pointed to “Yes.”
To give all you have to a thing, to a passion, to your
future, and to simply see a smiling face vanish behind a closing door. Your
future is on the other side, behind the smiling face and happy greetings, and
the promises of better than what you had before. It’s that point in the journey
when you realize that there’s no treasure waiting for you at the end. If you’re
lucky enough to not be stymied by an impossible feat you’ll most likely find
nothing at the end, just an empty box… or barren table… or vacant summit. Maybe
you’ll find a door that’s locked and the key’s been melted-down into someone’s
weird accoutrement.
He played his song and opened his heart, only to find
that nobody was listening. And those who were, were deaf. She tuned-in only
to find-out that everyone else had tuned-out. How do you live on a different
wavelength? How do survive when you are invisible? Why share yourself when nobody
wants any part of what you are?
Rejection with a curse and a “No” is at least clear. You understand
why. Rejection with a smile and a “Yes” is something else. What can you make of
it? It’s a good meal with a bad taste. Or a bad meal with a good taste. Or just
a meal with just a taste. It’s a nothing meal with a nothing taste. How can
your bowels digest nothing?
Serves me right for thinking that I could ever succeed at
anything.
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